Kames vs. Kim

Have you ever thought about the strangeness of our naming conventions? Here are some that I thought that I would mention:
1. Kim, Tim, Jim. Why is there no consistency here? Kimberly becomes Kim, Timothy becomes Tim, James becomes Jim. Kim could be short for Kames, Jim for Jimothy, Tim for Timberly. If you're out there reading this, be more adventurous in naming kids things...
2. Isn't it odd how you can just add -bert, -ward, or -mund to names and get new ones? My friend and neighbor Jay has a short name. Often I will add the bert to make it more like a full name and less like a nickname. Doesn't Jaybert have a nice ring to it? Some other names don't work with that suffix, though. Aaron for instance works better as Aaronward.
3. At some point over the years of watching basketball, I noticed that the commentators for some reasons started calling three pointers "trays" or "treys." I never understood why, or even what the word meant, but just assumed it was the sort of normal idiocy that people who are actually paid to watch and talk about games would say. Then I noticed that it was becoming moderately popular as a name. Why? What does it mean? Isn't it an object that you serve food on? No offense meant to all of you out there with a three pointer as your name. I guess "free throw" or "field goal" are too long. But they could be the full name, and the nickname could be "Dunk."
4. I heard Gwyneth Paltrow used the name "Apple" because it gave a connotation of sweetness and healthiness. It's the natural followup to the name "Sugar" in our health conscious culture. I would also suggest to Ms. Paltrow "Aspartame" where she could use a multitude of cool nicknames, like "Asp" or "Party." If she's concerned about the potential headaches Aspartame causes (but I would point out that kids cause headaches too), she could just use "Splenda." Maybe she should ask the opinion of the parade of nannies who will actually raise the child...