Word Puzzles 2

Here are some more common phrases twisted a bit. See if you can figure out the proper wordings.

Request and you will get

Deceased poundage

Top Dairy

Near Trim

Bit of baked goods

Broken Legged Fowl

What's In A Name?

How many "odd" names have you encountered in your everyday lives? I can think of several: In high school there was apparently a person (not in my grade) named Jed Clampett. I don't remember ever meeting him, but I remember him being called to the office on occasion.


At a former employer there was a man with the last name of Holly who went by Buddy.


When I worked at a bank a long time ago processing certain applications, I did see a Sandy Beach and an Eric Von Batman III.


On the slightly tasteless front, in my first office job out of college there was a man in our department with the last name of Dickhaut. We then hired a woman with the last name of Dickens. I won't comment any more on that...

At that same place, there was a man who managed one of our stores that some of my coworkers would call specifically to have him paged throughout his store. His name was Richard Handler, but he went by the nickname Dick instead of Rick or Rich. Again, this is all true. Who would even think about making up Von Batman III?

My Family's Style of Speaking

First off, I have to say that my Dad is one of the most selfless and caring people that I have ever known, and I mean him no disrespect by this post. It is true however that he has a unique way of looking at the world and of speaking. Let me explain by example:


About 15 years ago my Dad broke his kneecap and had knee replacement surgery. It was a difficult recovery at that time. One of the things he had to do was wear support hose on his leg. His term for it: his panty hoe, since it was singular.

He also had one of the lenses of his glasses fall out once, and he talked about how the "len" fell out.


Other interesting phrases:

black as pitch

brown as indigo (this was is particularly interesting since Indigo is sort of a bluish purple)

My dad is from Western Pennsylvania, and there are a few other phrases and pronunciations that are perhaps unique to that area. My maternal grandmother spoke the same way.

"gum bands" instead of rubber bands
"you'uns" for you plural (sort of like y'all in the south)

Saying "deesh" instead of dish, or "feesh" or "weesh".

My grandmother was still alive when the first President Bush was in office, and she pronounced his name "boosh."

Any one notice anything about the Ohio area's way of pronouncing things? This might be easier for people who didn't grow up here.

Trails from Abandoned Railways

Some of the best trails in the US were originally covered by railroad tracks. Over the years, because of changing transportation trends, miles of tracks have been abandoned. Various community and national organizations have worked to keep that land designated as public land, and to create and maintain trails on it.

In a country where we don't have the public transportation systems or bicycle friendly roadways of many other nations, having a system of national trails based on old railway lines was to me a revelation. In some communities they can be used for commuting or short trips to stores to lower fuel costs and pollution, to prevent clogging of our nation's roads, and to promote exercise. Aside from practical uses, they are great areas to ride your bikes, run, or simply walk with your family for fun and recreation.

If you think this sounds like a good cause, I would encourage you to seek out some of these regional and national organizations. They can always use financial support, but you may be able to volunteer your time to help in the maintaining of existing trails in your community.

Unlikely Business Ideas - Montana Tumbleweeds

There is a site called Montana Tumbleweeds. The woman who runs it originally made the site as a bit of a joke as she was learning HTML. She lives in Montana and has a lot of tumbleweeds blowing across her property. She started the online "business" of offering tumbleweeds for sale and was shocked when people started placing orders. Now she has a thriving business, as people all over the world think it's cool to order genuine Montana tumbleweeds.


What kinds of unique things do you have or know about that someone might be interested in elsewhere in the world? If we lived in the 1970's, perhaps Ohioans that live towards the east could sell vials of the Cuyahoga River as fuel. After the river caught on fire, I'm sure that the market demand would have been at its peak. If you are interested in starting an internet based business, I wish you all good luck in thinking of a unique product like Montana Tumbleweeds.

Word Puzzle 1 Answers

Yesterday I posted a puzzle, and today I'm going to give the answers. Hopefully I'll leave enough space that people who didn't see yesterday's post won't see the answers too early.

Here goes:

First, I'll show the puzzle phrases.


Hirstute Sculptor

Serious Sower

Skinny Grabbings

Gaze First, Then Jump

Small Home on the Plains

Now for the answers:

(drum roll....)

Harry Potter

Grim Reaper

Slim Pickings

Look Before You Leap

Little House on the Prairie

Word Puzzles

For some reason the other day, I started thinking of some of these word puzzles. Now that I have an outlet for this sort of thing, I decided to write them down and think of some more. They are words and phrases that are alternate ways of saying something that should be recognizable. I'll give an example:

Highly Temperate Canine = Hot Dog

where Hot Dog is the common phrase (unless you've been reading my other posts and you have been moving into very eccentric territory.) I'm picturing someone going into Rudy's Hot Dog (which for most people is a stretch in and of itself) and asking for a Highly Temperate Canine with mustard and onions.
:-)

Try these. Some are phrases. I'll give answers tomorrow.

Hirstute Sculptor

Serious Sower

Skinny Grabbings

Gaze First, Then Jump

Small Home on the Plains

Good Luck! (This was a wish, not one of the puzzles...)

Word Fun Part 2

Have you ever thought much about words like good and food? You would think that they would rhyme, but they don't. Impress your peers by pronouncing them the same. Try pronouncing them both the same as wood, and tell someone you enjoyed their good food. Next time, try it the other way, pronouncing them both like lewd (gewd fewd). You'll be on your way to being an eccentric in no time...

A Poem - Weather Bytes

Here's a poem I wrote recently.

Weather Bytes

The Falling Snow
the delight of our childhood
brings peace to the masses
as it descends over the countryside.

The Lightning's Glare
illuminating the darkness
brings no comfort to those
who are hiding under the bed.

The Roaring Thunder
immense in its volume
no more power of its own
than a tinkling windchime.

A Rainy Spring Day
a window of opportunity
to dream many dreams
from the porch swing's refuge.

Conspiracy, Laziness, or Nothing New Under The Sun?

Have you ever wondered why there don't appear to be new instruments created? When was the last time a new instrument was added to an orchestra lineup? When was a new horn or woodwind last made to add to a concert or jazz band? Does no one in the music world care about new sounds except for electronic sounds? Are no new instruments possible, or are the people in power so traditional that they won't consider trying something new? Anybody have any thoughts on that? I find it hard to believe that we can't make any new instruments that sound good that haven't already been made in the 1600's or 1700's.

Successful Business Ideas

Are you ever amazed by people's success stories? Here's one about the guy who founded Plentyoffish.com. Please note that I'm not advertising the site. It's a dating site that I've never visited (note to my wife!).
However, I read recently that the creator of the site only made it to test his skills at web designing and did nothing to promote it. Despite that, people flocked to the site and he had to continue to add new servers to support it. Soon he had received a check for $900,000 for 2 months of advertising! He has no employees working for him and says that the site is practically self running.
The question is, do you find this inspiring or depressing, or a little of both? My advice: If you have an idea or something you like to do, go for it. You never know...

The Legend of Star

During one summer in college I worked at McDonalds in Estes Park, Colorado. It was a fascinating melting pot of people compared to the usual fast food shack. There were retirees who had moved to Colorado and wanted to keep working, a school teacher from Indiana who came to Estes Park every summer and paid for her vacation by working, a former nun, and students from all over the globe: England, France, Morocco, and especially Nepal.


My topic today however happens to be none of those people. It rests solely with a young woman named Star. I was told that Star's parents were former Hippies, though I never spoke with her enough to know if that was true. In fact, she didn't seem to work very often. But one night she did, and assumed her usual spot at the front working the register. The men were always put in the back, and the women usually at the front. All that I can say is that Star seemed like a nice enough girl, but she apparently had a reputation for living up to the "out there" stereotype associated with her name. She was never mocked in her presence or anything. No one treated her badly, or I would have felt very uncomfortable. She just had a rep.


The system operated in such a way that normal orders were treated like an assembly line - you made a dozen "regs", with a certain number cheesed. These were regular hamburgers and cheeseburgers. In the evening, things tended to slow way down, but for some reason we tended to get more "grill" orders, ones that had specials requests - no pickle, extra onion, that sort of thing. Grills would print out of a small printer, and the person who was going to make the grill would rip off the paper and take it with them. I think they would even give the slip back with the order.


This evening that Star was working, we had several grill orders come through in a row. We made them hurriedly, and then when we were done waited looking out into the lobby, chatting. Star came up to the window repeatedly peering back at us. Her face had a hunted look. She started drumming her fingers on the side of the heat lamp bay. She glanced back several times behind her to the line of customers. Beads of sweat began multiplying all over her forehead. Finally she could hold back no longer, and she wailed in exasperation "Where is my grill? I've been waiting forever!"


At that we were startled and began looking around frantically. After what seemed like minutes but was probably several seconds, we asked her what it was so that we could make it, since we couldn't find the slip. Her reply was stellar, no pun intended. "It was a cheeseburger no cheese."

I'll let you think about that one for a second.

As she was telling this in palpable frustration because we were taking so long to get her a relatively simple grill, she was leaning over and practically crushing the hamburgers that we under the heat lamp. While they weren't technically a special grill, I don't know what a cheeseburger no cheese is other than a hamburger.

That sort of cemented the legend of Star at the restaurant.

Quotes from Groucho Marx

I'm a big fan of Groucho Marx. Here are some of my favorite quotes of his:



I sent the club a wire stating, PLEASE ACCEPT MY RESIGNATION. I DON'T WANT TO BELONG TO ANY CLUB THAT WILL ACCEPT ME AS A MEMBER.



A child of five would understand this. Send someone to fetch a child of five.



Money frees you from doing things you dislike. Since I dislike doing nearly everything, money is handy.



Those are my principles, and if you don't like them... well, I have others.



I've had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn't it.



I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into the other room and read a book.



From the moment I picked up your book until I laid it down, I was convulsed with laughter. Some day I intend reading it.

Word Fun Volume 1

Spice up your conversation by changing the way that you speak! Amaze your friends! With just a few simple changes, you too can be considered eccentric!


Volume 1


Try using words that you are used to hearing as negatives instead as positives. For example:



Instead of calling someone "uncouth", tell someone that you think is cool that they are very couth. Act very chalant (instead of nonchalant.) Other ones to try:



jointed instead of disjointed


plussed instead of nonplussed


concerted instead of disconcerted


mayed instead of dismayed


wieldy instead of unwieldy





There are plenty more than just these. Try using them in sentences:


I was very mayed to hear that my parents were coming for a visit. That knife is very wieldy and easy to use. I didn't do well in the interview, as I felt very chalant.

Do you have any suggestions?

2008 Predictions - Part 2

Here is my continuation from yesterday of my top ten predictions for 2008:



6. Someone wil win the Presidential election. The other side will blame them for the recession, the Pearl Harbor bombing of 1941, the high price of oil, teenage pregnancy, and the fire at the Great Library of Alexandria in ancient Egypt.



7. Ryan Seacrest will still be famous, despite not being an actor, singer, musician, writer, model, comedian, magician, doctor, politician, or anything else noteworthy.



8. The battle between Bluray and HD DVD will be over, with Bluray winning and HD DVD going the way of Beta in their battle with VHS.



9. Most people will still urinate, despite increasing pressure from environmentalists to stop it because it hurts the ground.



10. In a surprising move, Pauly Shore is appointed head of the FDA by the new Presidential administration. He replaces the food pyramid with what he calls the "Food Octagon" and moves Spam into a centerpiece of the new diet. Shares of Hormel soar.

2008 Predictions - Part 1

I've seen a lot of predictions for the new year out there, so I thought I'd make my first post my own version. We can check at year end and see how close I came:

1. There will still be a surprising lack of psychics who won the lottery.

2. Farmland and agriculture will continue to experience a boom in the US and abroad. Urban sprawl, woldwide population increases, greater meat consumption in China and India, higher demand for ethanol - all may make prices rise for produce and farmland. Notice I didn't say anything about residential real estate...

3. Lindsay Lohan and Britney Spears will become nuns, only to realize their mistake later: They thought they were becoming "Pips" and backing Gladys Knight to jumpstart their singing careers. This after trying to join the Temptations...

4. Tatas Motors in India begins selling their $2,500 car. An enterprising John Deere makes a few quick cosmetic changes and markets their cheapest riding lawn motor as direct competition. In a surprising move, Consumer Reports ranks it ahead of the Tatas Car and half of Ford's lineup of cars and trucks.

5. Due to the high price of gasoline, McDonalds has to step of security (and prices) due to increasing theft of used deep frying oil for heating and cars. The smell of french fries pervades the air even more than usual.

Stay tuned tomorrow for Part 2...