I spent some time in Europe for my previous employer. Twice I spent a week in Slovakia, which I found fascinating. Now, I don't want to generalize, but it seemed from the people we encountered in our plant that we were visiting that the Slovakian men were on average a bit taller than the average American man. I found this ironic because the hotel we stayed in had very short beds. The hotel rooms had separations everywhere. There were two short single beds in the hotel room I was given, but they were separated almost as separate rooms themselves by dividers. When you first went in the room, there was a sort of foyer, with fiberglass type dividers splitting the bedroom. Very strange.
Brataslava also was a study in contrasts. You could still see the ugly Soviet era apartment buildings towering in the distant, all grayish white and all looking exactly the same. Much of Brataslava was booming, with new residences, shopping centers, and roads being built. It was quite amazing. It's been probably 3 years since I've been there, and I'm sure that it has changed dramatically even since then.
Tuesday, February 26, 2008
Friday, February 22, 2008
The Story of Kelli
This anecdote isn't funny, but is something that I thought I would share. While I was growing up, there was a girl in grade school that I had a major crush on from first sight in first grade all through sixth grade. Not only was she pretty, but she seemed like a nice girl. I won't give her name, for fear of libel/slander/whatever. Alas, her niceness didn't seem to last. When I returned to school in seventh grade, she like everyone else suddenly seemed to go insane. I never have seen such a transformation from pleasant or at least neutral people to hateful people as I did in the transition to junior high in seventh grade. Looking back, I wonder if the water supply had been poisoned.
Kelli was a cheerleader, and like many other people thought it was funny to mock me. After this happened a several times, we had an intense exchange with the result that she never bothered me again. We also seldom spoke after that. I think we had a couple of brief "it looks like rain" sort of conversations in high school, but nothing extended or personal. That was fine with me.
In college for the first year or so I stayed in contact with my few close friends from high school, though that soon changed as time wore on. During that period, I heard that Kelli was taking dance classes in college and had found that she had a cancerous tumor in her leg. Pretty serious stuff. I remembered that we had once been friends, and I decided that I shouldn't hold some silly things that she did in junior high against her. It was tough, but I bought a card and wrote a note. Now currently I can have a tendency if I talk too much to put my foot in my mouth. Back then, I was a little worse. I'd put both feet in my mouth, which would result more often that not in falling to the ground on my butt.
Whatever I said to Kelli, it was heart felt. I merely told her that I and my college friends (at least those that did that sort of thing) were praying for her, and I must have said that because of our strained relationship after junior high that I wasn't sure that I should contact her. Something like that.
Some time later I received a response (which I didn't keep.) It's hard to understand what people mean from what they say. I remember her saying something to the effect of "Thanks for the card, I appreciate the prayers. I know how hard it must have been for you to send this card." I took it that she was getting in a bit of a barb, since I must have laid it on too thick about our estranged friendship in the original card. That was my reading of the tone at the time.
I heard that she recovered and grew back her hair, and I didn't really think any more about her until several years later when we were 28. My mom sent me a clipping from the newspaper. Kelli had a recurrence of cancer and had died. It shook me a great deal, that someone so young and fit could succumb like that. Though I had never realized it consciously before, I guess there had always been in the back of my mind this idea that I might see her again someday and feel proud of myself and what I had become. You know, a sort of "So there" moment. Now that wasn't going to happen. I remembered our friendship in grade school more vividly after that, and I really was shaken.
The moral of the story? I don't know that there is one, other than you never know what is going to happen and when. If you have something to say to someone, don't put it off.
Kelli was a cheerleader, and like many other people thought it was funny to mock me. After this happened a several times, we had an intense exchange with the result that she never bothered me again. We also seldom spoke after that. I think we had a couple of brief "it looks like rain" sort of conversations in high school, but nothing extended or personal. That was fine with me.
In college for the first year or so I stayed in contact with my few close friends from high school, though that soon changed as time wore on. During that period, I heard that Kelli was taking dance classes in college and had found that she had a cancerous tumor in her leg. Pretty serious stuff. I remembered that we had once been friends, and I decided that I shouldn't hold some silly things that she did in junior high against her. It was tough, but I bought a card and wrote a note. Now currently I can have a tendency if I talk too much to put my foot in my mouth. Back then, I was a little worse. I'd put both feet in my mouth, which would result more often that not in falling to the ground on my butt.
Whatever I said to Kelli, it was heart felt. I merely told her that I and my college friends (at least those that did that sort of thing) were praying for her, and I must have said that because of our strained relationship after junior high that I wasn't sure that I should contact her. Something like that.
Some time later I received a response (which I didn't keep.) It's hard to understand what people mean from what they say. I remember her saying something to the effect of "Thanks for the card, I appreciate the prayers. I know how hard it must have been for you to send this card." I took it that she was getting in a bit of a barb, since I must have laid it on too thick about our estranged friendship in the original card. That was my reading of the tone at the time.
I heard that she recovered and grew back her hair, and I didn't really think any more about her until several years later when we were 28. My mom sent me a clipping from the newspaper. Kelli had a recurrence of cancer and had died. It shook me a great deal, that someone so young and fit could succumb like that. Though I had never realized it consciously before, I guess there had always been in the back of my mind this idea that I might see her again someday and feel proud of myself and what I had become. You know, a sort of "So there" moment. Now that wasn't going to happen. I remembered our friendship in grade school more vividly after that, and I really was shaken.
The moral of the story? I don't know that there is one, other than you never know what is going to happen and when. If you have something to say to someone, don't put it off.
Monday, February 18, 2008
The Worst Big Budget Movies?
I was thinking recently about some of the worst big budget films out there. I have a good friend who says that Waterworld (with Kevin Costner) fits into that category. I only saw it once, but I didn't think it was that horrible. Of course, this kind of thing is always subjective, but I do have a few to mention.
1. Superman IV - It was some time before I even realized that Christopher Reeve had made a 4th Superman movie. I don't remember it being in theatres. After I saw it, I realized why. I found it painful. The worst parts were the scenes with Gene Hackman as Lex Luthor. If you remember the comics, Lex is supposed to be bald. In the 1st movie, Gene Jackson pulls off his "wig" at the end of the movie and is revealed as bald. In the 4th movie, he is apparently wearing his wig again. However, the wig has a bald spot...
2. Dungeons and Dragons - Truly awful picture that my friend Matt and I went to see without his wife. Staying home was the best decision Lina ever made. Thora Birch tried hard in her role as the queen, but she didn't have a chance of saving this movie from its terrible script.
3. Catch and Release - Kevin Smith is funny, but the other characters (especially the leads) are to me so unsympathetic as to make some parts of this movie actually appalling. I'm a big Jennifer Garner fan for her work in Alias, but this movie was not a good career choice for her.
and the worst one of all time in my opinion...
Hudson Hawk. I went to see this film against my will, and I believe I had the first white appearing in my hair upon coming out of the theatre.
Again, these are just big budget films. There are plenty of TV movies that are most likely far worse. Also, there are many films (The Saw pictures, the American Pie series and its ilk of crude humor) that I might dislike even more if I ever went to see them. However, they hold no interest for me because of their subject matter.
1. Superman IV - It was some time before I even realized that Christopher Reeve had made a 4th Superman movie. I don't remember it being in theatres. After I saw it, I realized why. I found it painful. The worst parts were the scenes with Gene Hackman as Lex Luthor. If you remember the comics, Lex is supposed to be bald. In the 1st movie, Gene Jackson pulls off his "wig" at the end of the movie and is revealed as bald. In the 4th movie, he is apparently wearing his wig again. However, the wig has a bald spot...
2. Dungeons and Dragons - Truly awful picture that my friend Matt and I went to see without his wife. Staying home was the best decision Lina ever made. Thora Birch tried hard in her role as the queen, but she didn't have a chance of saving this movie from its terrible script.
3. Catch and Release - Kevin Smith is funny, but the other characters (especially the leads) are to me so unsympathetic as to make some parts of this movie actually appalling. I'm a big Jennifer Garner fan for her work in Alias, but this movie was not a good career choice for her.
and the worst one of all time in my opinion...
Hudson Hawk. I went to see this film against my will, and I believe I had the first white appearing in my hair upon coming out of the theatre.
Again, these are just big budget films. There are plenty of TV movies that are most likely far worse. Also, there are many films (The Saw pictures, the American Pie series and its ilk of crude humor) that I might dislike even more if I ever went to see them. However, they hold no interest for me because of their subject matter.
Friday, February 15, 2008
Product Idea
Ideas I had for products that never quite made it…
Electric Abacus
Electric Kazoo – think of the difference in sound between an acoustic guitar and electric guitar. Imagine the possibilities
Tackle Tiddlywinks - a boring game made more athletic
Diet Oil of Olay - save calories by replacing all that unhealthy oil with applesauce
Hollow potatoes - this is to make it easy to have potato skins. Hey, they serve donut holes, right?
Electric Abacus
Electric Kazoo – think of the difference in sound between an acoustic guitar and electric guitar. Imagine the possibilities
Tackle Tiddlywinks - a boring game made more athletic
Diet Oil of Olay - save calories by replacing all that unhealthy oil with applesauce
Hollow potatoes - this is to make it easy to have potato skins. Hey, they serve donut holes, right?
Thursday, February 14, 2008
Restaurant Service
Have you ever had really poor service when you go out to eat at a restaurant? If you pay by credit card, I have what may be an innovative solution to your problems. When you get your receipt with the total and the slot for the tip, enter a negative amount. For example, let's say the bill was $30.00. Write in your tip of ($5.00) or -$5.00, and then write in the total as $25.00. Why should you be the only one suffering if they gave you the wrong food and were disagreeable about it? If the service is really horrible, write in the tip as ($35.00). Then they owe you $5.00. Hold out your hand for the money as the waiter/waitress comes by.
Please note that this would never really work. But at least you can have some satisfaction in thinking about it, right?
Please note that this would never really work. But at least you can have some satisfaction in thinking about it, right?
Monday, February 11, 2008
The need to have an enemy?
My original purpose in having this blog was to communicate the humorous, or at least what I hoped to be humorous. I find my posts of late to be straying from that charter. This is another of those.
Have you noticed within ourselves the need to have an enemy? Not necessarily a person, per se, but often abstract concepts? I think that many people of varied backgrounds may agree on this, whether they believe it is a vestige remaining through our evolution from animals who were in constant conflict to stay alive, to those who may call it an element of original sin.
An example of this attitude is the feelings some people have over sports teams. Have you, like me, been appalled at behavior at sporting venues when you go to see a game? Or shaken your head at what you hear about football matches in Europe where rioting occurs? There have been stories of people murdered after they perform poorly in football matches. I remember one in particular in South America.
Does anyone remember Mitch Williams? He was a closer in the World Series that gave up a winning home run to the other team. I remember reading how immediately afterwards fans pulled up outside his family's home to spew their anger and hate at him. They were harrassed for some time after that. He was never the same player after that World Series experience.
I think some of us need a place where we can direct our anger and frustration at the world, and sports and politics are a frequent way to do that. I see it in my own life. I'll give an example of a sports team. There is a university that I will not mention that has long been a lightning rod for my anger and hate, and admittedly it is foolish of me. It started when the people I knew from high school who were going there were complete jerks and enemies of mine. It continues to this day, when I can freely say that of all of the people I have met who have attended this school, only one can I say to have liked. The others have a mix of arrogance and sports' obsession that tend to push me away.
Still, whether I believe I have reasons to feel this way or not, I don't really. It's a silly "outlet" for my anger that does nothing more than to fan the flames of all of those parts of myself that I want purged. Rather than being an outlet to vent, it actually makes things worse. This is true for more than just sports teams.
Again, for me it seems that when people attack my beliefs or things that I have expressed an opinion about (whether it be TV shows, books, music), it will often come across as a personal attack on me. Is it really? Usually not, but most of the time that doesn't stop me from feeling that it was.
What is my point to this? I guess that I have a lot of work to do, that even being aware of this part of myself doesn't mean that I can stop it necessarily, though they say admitting the problem is at least a first step. But I think that this is a problem for society at large, maybe not to the same degree as it is for me, but maybe for some a bigger problem. I hope and pray that we as a people come to recognize this part of ourselves and not let it overcome us.
Have you noticed within ourselves the need to have an enemy? Not necessarily a person, per se, but often abstract concepts? I think that many people of varied backgrounds may agree on this, whether they believe it is a vestige remaining through our evolution from animals who were in constant conflict to stay alive, to those who may call it an element of original sin.
An example of this attitude is the feelings some people have over sports teams. Have you, like me, been appalled at behavior at sporting venues when you go to see a game? Or shaken your head at what you hear about football matches in Europe where rioting occurs? There have been stories of people murdered after they perform poorly in football matches. I remember one in particular in South America.
Does anyone remember Mitch Williams? He was a closer in the World Series that gave up a winning home run to the other team. I remember reading how immediately afterwards fans pulled up outside his family's home to spew their anger and hate at him. They were harrassed for some time after that. He was never the same player after that World Series experience.
I think some of us need a place where we can direct our anger and frustration at the world, and sports and politics are a frequent way to do that. I see it in my own life. I'll give an example of a sports team. There is a university that I will not mention that has long been a lightning rod for my anger and hate, and admittedly it is foolish of me. It started when the people I knew from high school who were going there were complete jerks and enemies of mine. It continues to this day, when I can freely say that of all of the people I have met who have attended this school, only one can I say to have liked. The others have a mix of arrogance and sports' obsession that tend to push me away.
Still, whether I believe I have reasons to feel this way or not, I don't really. It's a silly "outlet" for my anger that does nothing more than to fan the flames of all of those parts of myself that I want purged. Rather than being an outlet to vent, it actually makes things worse. This is true for more than just sports teams.
Again, for me it seems that when people attack my beliefs or things that I have expressed an opinion about (whether it be TV shows, books, music), it will often come across as a personal attack on me. Is it really? Usually not, but most of the time that doesn't stop me from feeling that it was.
What is my point to this? I guess that I have a lot of work to do, that even being aware of this part of myself doesn't mean that I can stop it necessarily, though they say admitting the problem is at least a first step. But I think that this is a problem for society at large, maybe not to the same degree as it is for me, but maybe for some a bigger problem. I hope and pray that we as a people come to recognize this part of ourselves and not let it overcome us.
Wednesday, February 6, 2008
One Definition of Crazy
I have heard that one definition of crazy is to do the same thing over and over and expect a different result. I would like to share what I would consider a perfect example of this with you.
Everyday on my way to work, I go through one traffic light and have a stretch of maybe a quarter mile to the next light. You can see the next light very clearly in the distance. The two are in sync with each other, meaning that they always change in the exact same relationship to each other. The speed limit is 50, though most people pretend the speed limit signs aren't there or don't apply to them and drive closer to 65.
Every day, I go through the first light and stay at about 40 up until the next light, because it changes to yellow and then red fairly soon after going through the first one. Even driving at 40 or slightly less, I always get to the second light while it is still red. It is impossible to drive fast enough to get through the second before it changes to red.
This doesn't stop people every morning from flying past me and racing to the light before jamming on their brakes. The guys with the 10 ton pickup trucks that probably get 10 miles to the gallon are stupid enough, but even the Prius driver with the supposed interest in being "green" and getting good gas mileage is guilty of it. Aside from the wasted gasoline and extra wear and tear on the brakes, isn't this the definition of insanity for those people who travel this same route every morning like I do? They get the same result everyday....
Everyday on my way to work, I go through one traffic light and have a stretch of maybe a quarter mile to the next light. You can see the next light very clearly in the distance. The two are in sync with each other, meaning that they always change in the exact same relationship to each other. The speed limit is 50, though most people pretend the speed limit signs aren't there or don't apply to them and drive closer to 65.
Every day, I go through the first light and stay at about 40 up until the next light, because it changes to yellow and then red fairly soon after going through the first one. Even driving at 40 or slightly less, I always get to the second light while it is still red. It is impossible to drive fast enough to get through the second before it changes to red.
This doesn't stop people every morning from flying past me and racing to the light before jamming on their brakes. The guys with the 10 ton pickup trucks that probably get 10 miles to the gallon are stupid enough, but even the Prius driver with the supposed interest in being "green" and getting good gas mileage is guilty of it. Aside from the wasted gasoline and extra wear and tear on the brakes, isn't this the definition of insanity for those people who travel this same route every morning like I do? They get the same result everyday....
Monday, February 4, 2008
Taking it with you...
I heard a joke recently, and I'd thought I'd relate my version of it here. Some of my close friends have heard it already. A disclaimer: I'm not endorsing the theology contained therein, such as it is...
A wealthy man contracted cancer and was quickly dying. He consulted with his minister and ones from several other churches, but was depressed that they all told him the same thing: money was temporal and he couldn't take it with him to heaven. As he lay dying, he prayed fervently and ceaselessly to heaven that he would be allowed to take the wealth that he had taken a lifetime to accumulate. Finally, an angel of the Lord appeared to him.
"Angel, I have worked hard all my life for this money, and you know that I have given my tithe to the church and far more, and have given generously to all in need."
The angel acknowledged that this was so, but that he would have no need of money in heaven. The man persisted in his begging, until at last the angel relented.
"You are permitted to take one bag, and one bag only," the angel said, and bade him farewell.
The old man was by this time gravely ill, and with his last strength he crawled out of bed (for he had elected to die at home) and filled a suitcase with gold. Then he died, still clutching his bag tightly.
The next moment that he was aware of, he was standing in front of an angel that he knew was Michael. Behind Michael were the gates of heaven. Michael looked at the bag.
"You are not allowed to bring that in here, I'm afraid," he said.
The old man (now miraculously young) said proudly "Oh no, I have special permission to bring this suitcase into heaven."
The angel looked as skeptical as an angel can, and asked him to open the bag. The man did so and the angel took in all of the beautiful glittering gold that filled the case. The angel smiled and slapped the man on the back.
"Great! That's fine. But why did you bring all this pavement?"
If you don't get it, read Revelation 21:21.
A wealthy man contracted cancer and was quickly dying. He consulted with his minister and ones from several other churches, but was depressed that they all told him the same thing: money was temporal and he couldn't take it with him to heaven. As he lay dying, he prayed fervently and ceaselessly to heaven that he would be allowed to take the wealth that he had taken a lifetime to accumulate. Finally, an angel of the Lord appeared to him.
"Angel, I have worked hard all my life for this money, and you know that I have given my tithe to the church and far more, and have given generously to all in need."
The angel acknowledged that this was so, but that he would have no need of money in heaven. The man persisted in his begging, until at last the angel relented.
"You are permitted to take one bag, and one bag only," the angel said, and bade him farewell.
The old man was by this time gravely ill, and with his last strength he crawled out of bed (for he had elected to die at home) and filled a suitcase with gold. Then he died, still clutching his bag tightly.
The next moment that he was aware of, he was standing in front of an angel that he knew was Michael. Behind Michael were the gates of heaven. Michael looked at the bag.
"You are not allowed to bring that in here, I'm afraid," he said.
The old man (now miraculously young) said proudly "Oh no, I have special permission to bring this suitcase into heaven."
The angel looked as skeptical as an angel can, and asked him to open the bag. The man did so and the angel took in all of the beautiful glittering gold that filled the case. The angel smiled and slapped the man on the back.
"Great! That's fine. But why did you bring all this pavement?"
If you don't get it, read Revelation 21:21.
Friday, February 1, 2008
Word Puzzles 2 Answers
Everyone who lives in the Midwest and Northeast, take care in going to work today. It looks pretty nasty out there.
Yesterday I posted more word puzzles. These are phrases that are a bit mixed up. I'll leave some space between the puzzles and the answers.
Here are the puzzles:
Request and you will get
Deceased poundage
Top Dairy
Near Trim
Bit of baked goods
Broken Legged Fowl
And here are the answers:
ta da!
Ask and you shall receive
Dead Weight
Head Cheese
Close Shave
Piece of Cake
Lame Duck
Yesterday I posted more word puzzles. These are phrases that are a bit mixed up. I'll leave some space between the puzzles and the answers.
Here are the puzzles:
Request and you will get
Deceased poundage
Top Dairy
Near Trim
Bit of baked goods
Broken Legged Fowl
And here are the answers:
ta da!
Ask and you shall receive
Dead Weight
Head Cheese
Close Shave
Piece of Cake
Lame Duck
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